Tony Dinozo's Authorization Application

[Masterlordflame]

Player Section

Steam Name: Masterlordflame
Age: 18
How long have you been Roleplaying? (can be any game): 5 years
How long have you been playing Serious GMod RP?: 1 year

Character Section

Authorization(s):
-Two military field manuals
-A dull, slightly rusted combat knife (5 ½ in.)

Name: Tony Dinozo
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Affiliation: Resistance

Write a detailed in-canon back-story how your character obtained these authorizations.
Hey My Names Tony Dinozo, I was exploring the Sewer's in City 17 hoping to find something useful, Anyway I found a small alcove in the sewer wall with a small cache. It was rusted shut but with the help of a small rock that I found on the ground I managed to get the lid off.

There was nothing much I could see at first, nothing but a bunch of moth eaten rags and some pieces of scrap metal and Scrap metal is very hard to come by so I'm not going to waste it, I stuffed it into my pack as best as I could and started moving towards the exit of the sewers.

It took me about fifteen minutes to actually get out as embarrassingly as it is I actually got lost, anyway back to the story, as I left the sewer and rounded the corner there was a small group of Overwatch guards and I silently waited for them to move away before continuing to my destination. although I ended up having to take a small detour due to a security blockade and ended up having go over the rooftops which also as it turns out it a quicker way back to where I have set up camp, which is right next to the construction site.

As I approached the door to my hideout I looked around behind me and also looked down to make sure I wasn't followed. After I was sure I wasn't tailed I pulled a key out of my pocket and unlocked the door and stepped inside. I did 1 final Check before closing the door again and I was Intrigued to further investigate the Cache I found. I set my backpack down on the floor and carefully pulled the box out and placed it on the floor, I then began sorting the stuff that was inside. After poking around a bit I noticed a gap in the bottom of the box, I carefully tipped the box upside down and tapped on the bottom till the tray from inside the box fell out. what fell out with it is what surprised me the most as I definitely was not expecting it. I laid out the new find in front of me and had a thorough look at all 3 items, they were a old combat knife and a couple of old tattered manuals.  One of the things I had to ask my self over and over again is why were they there? and how did they get there?, I then looked out the window and the sun was going down and it was then end of another hard day in city 17. I had some Rations which although having had for so long still tastes bad, but its better than nothing at all so I tend to appreciate what I have, A roof over my head , a place to sleep , and good friends which I will be meeting up with the next day to show them my findings and perhaps trade some of the scrap metal I found. After thinking about what I was going to do tomorrow I yawned and realised how tired I was. So I lied back on my bed roll and closed my eyes. 





What will these authorizations give your character in regards to perks or defects?

Perks
Knife- If restored can be used for combat and general uses
Field Manuals- Can be used to acquire knowledge of improvised weaponry/booby-traps/tactics


Defects
Knife- Its not doing to stay in perfect condition forever.
Field Manuals- The information is not up to date/ The materials needed are rare and hard to come by.

What do you plan to do with these perks/defects?
 well the knife will help me as a resistance member to defend myself and the Manual to train me to scavenge for supplies better to help further the cause.

Will anyone else need these auths? (If so, list OOC and IC name(s))
Its up to them

Which server does this apply for?
City

Extra Notes (optional):
Would hate to rewrite for the 4th time

[Lone Wanderer <??"?]

You do not have my support for this application. Yuo wouldn't just find this kind of stuff in a log cabin. The backstory is very short, and it just jumps into some kind of narrative without even providing any backing to it at all. Based on that, the backstory doesn't provide anywhere near what I'd consider acceptable for any of the things you're applying for. Along with that, you said you found this all while exploring the Outlands, and then went home after getting it, yet you want this in the city. Getting in and out of the Outlands is not an easy feat. To be quite honest, there realistically should be an auth app requried to get out of the city. It's extremely dangerous, whether you're trying to cross UU borders on the surface, or fighting/sneaking your way by whatever creatures are lurking in the darkness, waiting to eat you. Getting back in has the same difficulties. This is a big no for me.

[Yak]

Why does everyone somehow find weaponry and gear in a cupboard, it's not realistic at all.
Why didn't his killer take his items

[Masterlordflame]

Hold on a bit Rewriting it for the third time

Post Auto-Merged: May 06, 2013, 02:42:31 AMOk done re read it

[Lone Wanderer <??"?]

I'm okay with finding the knife like that, but not the field manuals. I feel like you're just using that too skip a bunch of other authorizations apps (IE: learning to make traps, basic military tactics/maneuvers, formations, how to clean/use a gun in basic terms, etc). That, I'm not okay with. If you're wanting to gain military skills, you're going to have to do a lot more than just find a military manual.

[Masterlordflame]

ok then Minus the manuals?

[[LP]GMK-MRL]

The POV sounds like it's a journal more than a story, which is something I despise in a story.

Fix some of the grammatical errors here and there, shouldn't be too hard to spot.

The story itself is patched and starts at one situation then jumps to another....no smooth transfering.

there was a small group of Overwatch guards and I silently waited for them to move away before continuing to my destination.

In CG canon, Overwatch don't randomly patrol the sewers, they only do it if something big went down. But I can see something happening in the background, but you not putting it in the backstory so i'll let it slide.

Also, military propaganda would more than likely be found in the Outlands (still hard to find). The UU did a lot to make sure military related items didn't get into their cities. So I won't agree to that.

Fix the grammar and i'll throw in my support. For now....

Neutral

[Atticat]

- Support

The story is filled with grammatical errors and is poorly written. Seems to be a quick authorization to arm a "military" character that is in peak physical condition despite that he survives off rations and has a permanent limp.

Also you only have 20 posts, relax and get a feel for the game before you start writing auths for combat characters.

[Delta1116732]

I have to -Support too. The application seems rather quickly made. As you shown from editing it mutliple times each adding on more things than the last it only took you a day or less to write it. I know hardly anyone who can pull that off really. As said before it seems like not a lot of effort was put into it, and not a lot of time was spent on it. It plainly looks like a quick get bad ass auth. Atticat sumed up a lot of it, and even then I feel you should probally try applying for small stuff. Basic knowledge, broken pipes/weapons, tools, and nothing too big. Rushing to something like this just looks like your trying to get a very good headstart, and skip being a basic citizen, and thats where you learn good RP.

[Masterlordflame]

as I left the sewer and rounded the corner there was a small group of Overwatch guards and I silently waited for them to move away

Sorry to have to point this out.
Post Auto-Merged: May 08, 2013, 02:08:00 AMAlso I didnt even say they were patrolling... only just that there was a group of overwatch guards

[Dallas]

Also I didnt even say they were patrolling... only just that there was a group of overwatch guards

Just randomly out for a mozy through the sewers? Aye.

Yeah, I'm not really feeling this application and I think you should really wait and get a feel for actually being a citizen rather than jumping into AC territory and messing up badly, along with that  all my reasons have been mentioned. -support.

[Masterlordflame]

Arnt you people listening to A thing im saying....they are not partrolling and are nowhere near the sewer

Post Auto-Merged: May 08, 2013, 07:13:58 PMjust deny it already

[Delta1116732]

You stated that you rounded the corner, and "there was a small group of Overwatch guards." This kind of shows that as soon as you rounded that corner they would have been there unless you can hear them from across the narrow sewers. You also mentioned you waited for them to pass which once more says that they are some what near you. If they were no where near the sewers then it would be hard to even hear them let alone see them as your below ground.

[[LP]GMK-MRL]

I change my neutral to -support.

[Dallas]

Denied at OP's request. Moving.