The Diary of Alisa Hallows, aka 091

[Lone Wanderer <??"?]

Out of Character for OOC:

The following passages from 091's diary are kept on her person in a small, worn, leather bound book. None of this information is to be used ICly for any purposes unless you are told by someone with this knowledge, or somehow gain possession of this diary.

Note for reading through these passages. Anything in italics is her personal writing, and can be found in the diary. Anything not in italics is describing a memory/event in her past, whether it's from City 45, City 38, before the war, etc. Again, don't metagame that information unless you were there or heard her/someone who knows about it has told you so. I'm sure you guys all know that.

A useful reference page for a small backstory in regards to a series of events for 091 going rogue can be found at the following link: http://www.catalyst-gaming.net/index.php?topic=21951.0

I'll be making updates with passages as significant stuff happens on the Outlands server, or when I have outside time to write some more stories. Hope you enjoy these!

Spoiler for Entry One; A New Day:

It seems like I haven't stopped running for days, now. All I remember was loud, piercing cracks, a dead weight  falling from my arms, and a sudden collapse deep inside. 422 was shot, fell behind, and I left him. He fell behind, and I left him. I left him. I always told myself I'd never leave a friend behind, that I'd never allow anyone to fall behind. I remember back in City 45, during a flood, a unit braced the onslaught of waves to bring me to safety. He was swept away, carried towards the deep, dark tunnels of P3. I went in and saved him. But I left 422, dropped him into the grasp of the very thing he wanted to escape; death.

I keep telling myself it's better he died that way, better he died with a sense of being and life about him. He still could care, still hoped for better times with a sense of joy about him. I can't remember what feelings truly feel like. I don't know love, happiness, joy, sadness, anger, loneliness. All I feel is emptiness. But he had it all, he had the ability to embrass human emotions. Yet, he died, and I remain.

I remember spending my mornings as a young unit looking out along the skyline of City 45 during dawn, watching with pride and a sense of freshness as the sun came into view, giving light to the world. But now, I sit watching the sun rise with nothing. I have no sense of pride for my actions, no hope for the future, nothing new about me. I can only think about all the people I've hurt, all the people I've treated like a body of flesh to put together, or to blast apart. But in the end, I'm the simple body of flesh tied to a robotic mind.


I left him behind...

Spoiler for Entry Two; Understanding:

Alisa Hallows. The woman I took the clothes from, along with her CID card. Age twenty-three, 5'10, brown hair, green eyes. CID numbers 22761. Loyalist status confirmed, tier four. Home city, 38. Home district, number 2. Apartment complex number 3, floor A, room 12. Married to citizen John Hallows, CID number 12448.

The new me. Alisa Hallows. I've decided it's not worth trying to fix the old me. I don't even know Hailey McLinn anymore. All I know is three numbers, and they're 0, 9, and 1. Trying to bring Hailey back will never work. She died long ago, and was lost in memory. Besides, knowing that Overwatch is bound to be after me, running around with my old name or digits isn't a smart idea. Alisa Hallows will have to do. She'll represent me, the new me, that is. Whatever that happens to be. I haven't figured it all out quite yet.

I've come to the conclussion that I'll never be able to fully embrace human emotions again. I'd say it's sad, but I still feel indifferent at the thought. Maybe Alisa will manage to find out the truth.