This story is based on a bi-personality disorder in the HL2RP realm. It stars a character named 
Ryan Carter, a loyalist citizen with a union-like track on his mind. He worked several months 
in the Civil Worker's Union and has gained respect through out the city. He joined the CCA, as 
a recruit. Through his journy he suffers mental and physical suffering, and his personality 
changes from a caring, loving man, to a heartless cold mechanical machine.
CCA.C45.UNIFORM-RCT.630
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6-5-12
Today I got smart with the officers, The UU Commander hit the fuck out of me with his sword, it 
knocked me out. The person in charge of me, 377, Had to carry me around limp, being his 
responsibility. Regardless, I woke up, did more patrolling, and then was taken to the hand to 
hand combat bay. 377 Not only whooped my ass, but gave me lessons on not being a fuck up in the 
CCA. My body is weakened by the intense beatings taken all day.
6-6-12
Today I got all my manifest caught up and compelted most of my training as a recruit. All of my 
sections on my manifest file have been marked off by GRID-OfC.270. I plan to soon turn in my 
complteted training manifest and proceed to an 05 rank. I still have a large dent in my mask 
from the ass kicking the UU CMD gave me.
6-12-12
I haven't gotten promoted yet, and I've been learning more every day. By this time, as a 
recruit, I've been included in 4 UCH House sweeps, unarmed. I've practiced filling out 
detainment papers very often. And I have also tied, hand searched, and detained several 
citizens. I'm currently awaiting a promotion, I often get tired of having to have a partner for 
everything. I'm drinking a good amount of water, I can't get enough. I've also had to get used 
to beating citizens, and seen several citizen's killed. My stomach turns every time, but it 
seems to be the only way to get the citizen's full attention. It seems like i'm just going to 
have to get used to it, unfourtunantly. 
6'0 132LBs | Dented Mask(OFF) | Light-Kevlar | Tidy Uniform | StunBaton | Combat Knife | RCT 
Armband | Small Lisp.
6-13-12
Today there was a fight at P3. I ended up getting involved and almost got killed. I suffered 
minor injuries, nothing serious. I could possibly get in trouble. I also searched and tied 
citizen's on sight today, there was a theft in the city. The criminal was found. Another man 
was discovered with a radio, but he was let go, commands by the ZEALOT Division Leader. It's 
golden.
CCA.C45.APEX-05.630
[/b]
6-17-12
After a long wait, I have been recognized by council, and promoted to an 05 unit. I can finally 
have my own 9mm, carry a datapad, and patrol on my own. My job is becoming more and more 
frustrating the more I deal with it, and beating the citizens seems to be becoming an almost 
every day thing for me now. It's still hard, but not like I was when I first enlisted. I've 
detained many citizens at this point, and am still studying my books. I'm eating and gaining 
weight, not in fat only, but also muscle. I try to work out to gain strength.
6-18-12
Today, someone was amputated right in front of me. They were blown apart by a shot gun. I was 
ordered to clean the body and the giblets up. It was disgusting that I vomited, making even 
more of a mess. It was absolutely stomach knotting what I saw. On top of that, today, someone 
had run into the nexus and been charged with level 1 trespassing, guess who was the only one 
with ammo? Me... They made me kill him. I shot him in the skull with my 9mm and his brains blew 
out all over the place. It was truely sickening. It's hard for me to get used to these things, 
but beatings just aren't as bad anymore...
I ended up seeing almost the exact same thing later on in the day. I saw another citizen 
recieve a verdict for a level 1. He was amputated, his head was blown completely off. I had to 
clean that mess up to. IT was very hard for me.
6-19-19
Today, There was a capital mal-compliance citizen. He refused to be checked at the checkpoint 
before being passed into P3. I tried to yell to stop him, then I pointed my gun at him, I tried 
to shoot him in the leg. The shot missed his leg, but the body fell to the ground. Upon further 
investigation, I found out that I had shot him directly in the back of his head. His body laid 
dormant, his head exploded all over the ground. I was told to have it cleaned up. I'm currently 
in a state of distraught having seen so many citizens killed, some of them by my own hands. Can 
I live with this? Can I move on? I've decided to nut up and continue my trek forward, no matter 
what. Besides, the only people dying are inperfection's right?
6-21-12
The CCA seized a large group of rebel gang members. It's obvious that they're weaved into some 
underground network. We've hit the top of the ice berg, and we're digging deeper. Lately things 
just don't seem right in the city. I'm currently investigating the capture of Elliot Reed and 
have am pursuing the Newtown case. 
6-21-12
Today, two citizens got in an altercation. I came, arrested them both, and detained them for 
cycles. One of which was an 80 year old man. I beat the attacker, but saw the 80 year old man 
as the victim. I tried to stage the old man's beatings, and it was discovered by the Sectorial. 
He shot me in my left knee cap. I'm disabled for now, and need major medical attention before 
performing any more duties.
6'0 149LBS | Mask | L-Kevlar | Baton | 9mm | CB Knife | APEX 05 Armband | D-Pad | Bullet Wound 
on L knee
CCA.C45.APEX-04.630
6-22-12
Today, I was recognized by the GRID DvL 604, the same person who inlisted me in the first 
place, he saw that my obvious effort to progress through the ranks was paying off. He promoted 
me to the rank of 04. I now am carrying a Medium Grade Kevlar, and will soon start my SMG 
training. My leg seems to be recovering well, and seeing as no major veins or arteries were 
penetrated, the biogels are repairing the muscle, and my unbareable walking has turned into 
only a slight limp. I have been kind of screwing off lately, getting too ahead of myself. I 
plan to take a step back now, and really put forth my ability into my new position.
My leg has been checked out by the NOVA and is clear to normal use. He also upgraded my 
frequency of my Prozac. I now take 40 mg's a day. It calms my mood and keep's me focused on my 
objective.
6-25-12
CCA.C45.GRID-04.630
Today, I've decided to change my division into the GRID division. Having a good electrical 
background, the courses seemed intriguing and simple for me. I was gladly accepted, and have 
started my adventure with the GRID team.
6-26-12
I began my GRID training today, I've gone through a lot of it at this point for my current 
rank. As an 04 I've learned basic mechanics and electrical skills, fire fighting, SMG training, 
and so on.
6-29-12
By this time i've finished my training, I've got many ideas swarming in my head having all this 
access to tools and electronics. I feel like I can create things the CCA wide will use. I've 
currently had an idea called the Biolocking Holster.
CCA.C45.GRID-03.630
6-30-12
A very special day for me today. I was recognized for my completed training and was promoted to 
the 03 stage. Now I can start ration cycled, I can walk on the balcony, and basically have a 
lot more privledges than I did before. I'm becoming detached from human society as we know it, 
and am rather focused on JUST DOING MY JOB.
7-2-12
Today fucking sucked. A recruit called me sir, I took him aside to tell him why he shouldn't 
call me sir, I did it in the classroom. The commander found out, and pulled me out of the class 
room at gun point. He removed my weapons, tied me, searched me, and threw me in a cell for 30 
cycles. It was horrible. I felt like a citizen again. They treated me as one. Not only that, 
but the recruit was murdered. They flat out killed him. They gave me a blackmark. It sucks. 
It'll be gone in my next promotion, which i am suspecting to be soon. I just want it off my 
record. I swore to myself I'm never talking to a recruit again. I don't want anything to do 
with them. It seems like the citizen's themself attacked me in this attempt, him joining the 
CCA and earning me a blackmark, not only that, but having his death on my concious. Fuck it. 
I'm just gonna nutt up and shut up, get back on duty. I have a task at hand. And a stupid 
little blackmark isn't going to set me back.
7-3-12
Today I finished my mechanical helment model. It is kind of clunky, but not TOO much. The inside wires and extra components, including a screen within my mask, causes high amounts of heat inside my helment, and also drains power from my suit, The ability to work for long periods of time are degraded when I use it. So my breaks are very often. I don't mind though, having the keen sense of visuals and audio ability, is much worth taking a breather every 12 cycles.
7-5-12
There was a CCA-Wide PT meeting today. All units available joined together under the Command of Commander 10309. He put us through vigerous training methods, including many physical excersises, and stunbaton techniques. The bad part about this was, when we were told to face left, there was no one to my left. I was ordered to hit hte OTA-WARDEN unit. Following orders, I hit the unit, and was instantly hit by the Butt of the AR2 he was holding. It broke the right lense of my mask, and it now has to be repaired. Regardless, I stood up in a panic, shoving him away from, luckily his directive changed before he could continue to kick my ass. THEN. We were told to face forward, and to attack the person in front of us. The person in front of us was COMMANDER 10309. I looked down the line, no one had moved. I stepped forward nobelly, approaching the commander even though he had a sword, I was following orders. As I approached, he scared me shitless by shouting, " 630 IS IN FRONT OF YOU. " I turn around, only to find the entire CCA force facing me, all of them, batons on and in the air. They approached me, started beating me one by one. I didn't let them beat me, I put up a fight, I started swinging back on them with as much force as I could find in my body. You could say that my body went into a survival-panic type of shock. Needless to say, I hurt a few other units, but was hurt very bad myself.
After that, units were answered a questionaire, some of the questions weren't... theasable, and some of the questions weren't relevant. 087 answered a question wrong, and was shot in the foot. And then we were ordered into a line from highest to lowest ranking. We stationed ourselves outside, and patroled in line formation, for about 3 rotations. After that, the commander ordered us to beat a group of citizens for snickering at us in our line. They survived... barely. But gladly the PT is over. All I have to do now is repair my helment. 777 and 047 came up to me after the fight, and told me I had a lot of balls. It made me feel good. I stood up to my fear, and the thing I feared most, backed down in hand to hand combat.
He could have kicked my ass, but regardless, the feeling of standing up formyself after a long trek of being pushed around felt so good. I'm maturing and my mood is currently happy. But it's a strange happy.