Catalyst Gaming
General => General Discussion => Social Discussion => Topic started by: Checkers on January 30, 2012, 11:41:20 PM
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Title explains itself but I don't know how to deal with this. My father was an ass and he constantly abused my mum as well my two younger sisters and me. Should I even feel bad for him? Serious answers only.
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Hes your father, hes the reason that you are alive. Even if he abused your mom, you should still mourn his death. I am very sorry about his death.
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I would think that the lose of any life isn't a good thing... But when some one abuses their wife and kids I shed no tears(Not saying that you shouldn't) I think you should sit down and talk with your mother and sisters and sort this out, losing a family member is a hard thing its even harder when they abuse the people that 'love' them.
Personally(Not saying you should do this) I would be strong and help out your sisters and your mother.
I would feel bad how ever because that is a life wasted, but not bad for him just because he is your father.
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I'm very sorry to hear about this, silent.
I know this is probably a sensitive subject, but if you want an answer, I'll try to give you the best one I can.
While it seems your father wasn't the greatest family man (which is a sad thing to hear -- a person's connection to their family is the strongest relationship they have, whether good or bad) it's still a sad thing to hear that another human being has left this world.
Every person in this world has a right to be mourned, even if it's because they didn't get a chance to leave a good impression on the people close to them.
I'm sorry for your loss, silent.
Send me a message some time if you want to chat.
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You know. I was going to not say anything here because I've never had to suffer through the loss of a family member in the immediate family. However, since I consider you a good friend, i feel i should say something.
Your father may have been violent and abusive, but he probably still loved all of you. Not saying you have to like him or anything but just remember him for the good things. Not the bad. Theres no reason to hate your own father after he has passed. Im no psych or councellor so what im saying might be the wrong words but nevertheless, I listen to people so if you ever want to say anything, you know where to find me.
Best of luck to you in these times Skyler.
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Mourn his loss but remember, you're not a bad person for not feeling sad about his death. You can't help the way you feel so don't feel too bad about things you have no control over, especially when it comes to emotions.
I sincerely wish you and your family luck and happiness for the future.
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If it wasn't for your father, you wouldn't be alive. Better yet, the actions that he made doesn't mean that you should hate him.
As my mother says, "if you hate someone, don't hate them but say that you don't LIKE them."
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Skyler, I cannot say much, but you are a good friend and I want to help so this is how I would take it:
I would cherish the good times you had with him, even if he was abusive and all he is your dad, and you only get one of those. I have had about three stepdads, but I cannot bring myself to call them dad, they are just not and thats the truth. Cherish the moments and try to forget all of the bad parts and focus on what made him your dad, and how he brought you up in the right ways.
Anyway, I hope to see you soon and I hope you are feeling better when I do
LUV YAS!
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Well, whether you like him or hate him, there's one thing I guarantee will make you better in the long run.
Forgive him for his abuses. What he's done to the family over a long course of time has probably left scars that willll take time AND forgiveness to heal.
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I get what you guys are saying but he din't just beat us. He raped my little sister and locked my other sis in a closet for two days. He constantly sexually harassed me. Raped and beat my mother. He also beat me and my sisters and made us do unspeakable things to each other. He never work, we all had to get part time jobs. At times I would take my mum and sisters to motels to get away from him. And finally he would threaten my mum and he said if she ever divorced him he would kill us all. I'm sorry but I'm crying here on Fisk's shoulder and I don't know what to do.
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Silent, Both you and your whole family need to get professional help.
Nothing that any one here has gone through can come pare to what he did.
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Silent, you should've called the Police or SWAT and let them deal with it or defend yourself, atleast stab him with a kitchen knife or get a rifle in the shed. Sadly, it is too late. You knew what was going to happen and you couldn't stop it. You shouldn't forgive him at all for what he done.
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Silent, you should've called the Police or SWAT and let them deal with it or defend yourself, atleast stab him with a kitchen knife or get a rifle in the shed. Sadly, it is too late. You knew what was going to happen and you couldn't stop it. You shouldn't forgive him at all for what he done.
You haven't been in that situation have you?
There more mentality to it than most people realize...
Also this might have been a whole mental issue that was never properly addressed one of my dads best friends and my guitar mentor was killed by a kid who is paranoid and attention seeking, or all of this in his sick mind was him thinking this meant that he was showing his love(Fucked up I know.)
As I will address again get mental help for you and your family I cannot stress this enough, my mom was abused by her ex(Not my father thank god) and she has some issues(nothing I want to state here) And all he did was hit her nothing as close as what your father did.
Also TMS it isn't easy causing major harm/killing some one who you know.
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I don't need mental health. I know what I am doing, everyone has there own opinions about negative and positive criticism. Go on YouTube for example, you see all the people hating eachothers nations?
Skyler, forgive your father for what he has done. I am sorry about that last post, I was too stupid enough to say that and I feel guilty.
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I don't need mental health. I know what I am doing, everyone has there own opinions about negative and positive criticism. Go on YouTube for example, you see all the people hating eachothers nations?
Skyler, forgive your father for what he has done. I am sorry about that last post, I was too stupid enough to say that and I feel guilty.
I wasn't saying that you need mental help I was telling skyler because I have seen the effect of abuse semi-first hand(Wasn't alive when it happened but she's still semi-messed up now).
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Guys comon, stop this. Focus on how Skyler is feeling, not yourselves..
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I feel sorry for you, silent. Its not up to us what you feel, its up to you. You know what he was fully like, and what he did and such. Take the time to think it, and decide.
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Sorry to hear that Silent, I would be angry at him but like everyone else said, If it wasn't for him you wouldn't be living right now. But you kind of have to feel bad for him since he's your father, But it's up to you.
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Sorry to hear that Silent, I would be angry at him but like everyone else said, If it wasn't for him you wouldn't be living right now. But you kind of have to feel bad for him since he's your father, But it's up to you.
You don't HAVE to feel bad at all. You feel what you feel. NOTHING you can do about that. No point in being guilty about not feeling bad because that just fucks you up.
If you don't feel bad about your fathers death, then that is neither your fault or wrong. We simply CANNOT help the way we feel.
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My father also died 5 months ago. Sorry to hear about your lost theirs nothing you can do besides move and and remember him. :'(
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I know how you feel. I lost my father, he was a violent drug abuser. Thank God he didn't live with us. Your not a bad person for not missing him. I can understand if you do/dont. I sadly don't have much more to say on the topic. Rather then I lost my fiance 12 years ago. So, if you don't miss him; then that is your feeling, then it is okay. If you do, then mourn him. Either way, your not a bad person.
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Unlucky for you.
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Your father may have been abusive but still, he may have been abused himself as a child and even though he is gone does not mean you should just ignore the fact that he was your father. He deserves to be mourned although it may not feel like it. I am sorry for your loss and know what it feels like.
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I would be pretty sad that my dad died, because he paid for our holidays and the internet. I also loved him very much. When i fell out of a tree and went to hospital he was there for me always.
But your dad sounding like an asshole. Though I would still miss him.
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Yeah, I am really sorry to hear this.
Well, he maybe wasn't a great father, but atleast he was a father. Without him you would not be alive.
But be happy that you atleast had a father. Someone maybe haven't seen his father. But I am sorry for your loss.
Adding a 10% warning for necroposting, you seem to do this is quite many threads but not as severe as this. Watch the last post date when posting. - Caek
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Im sorry for your loss...
Even though he was a bad father he's still your father so you should feel sad
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Can someone lock this please? I'm sure digging up the past isn't doing Skyler/Silent any good.
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Locked. This is 6 months old no need to bump something like this.