Author Topic: Gabriel Dixon's Authorization Application  (Read 4750 times)

Offline Dixon

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Gabriel Dixon's Authorization Application
« on: February 22, 2013, 02:22:41 AM »
Player Section

Steam Name:Jammy
Age: 14
How long have you been Roleplaying? (can be any game): 3 years
How long have you been playing Serious GMod RP?: 1/2 years

Character Section

Authorization(s):
Own a broken Crossbow
Own a combat knife

Name: Gabriel Dixon
Age: 23
Gender:Male
Affiliation:None

Write a detailed in-canon back-story how your character obtained these authorizations.
As a child to his teenage years and his adult hood, Gabriel was always forced to wake up at 5:00 AM and listen to their dad bang on the door. "Wake up chicken shits! Huntin' time!” They would get up, get dressed, grab their weapons and rush outside and jump into the truck and drive down the hillside. It was a lovely place. Waterfalls. Mountains, as they went deep into the forest. Their Dad would call them out; they both jumped out and stood side by side. Their Dad sent them into different directions. Gabriel Right. Warren Left. The one who gets the most food wins. Gabriel sprinted to the right, far away from his brother. He looked on the ground for some trails of any kind of animal; luckily he spotted some Deer tracks. He examined them, following the trail, moving forward. He keeps moving forward...Slowly in a sneaking position, he comes to a halt as he looks down a steep hill, he looks to his left to see if he can see another way down, there is none but to his amazement when he looked forward once more. There it was the deer. Gabriel laid down, pulling his Crossbow forward, sliding an arrow out of the quiver, sliding the arrow onto the wire, pulling the wire back letting it clip into place, He looks down his scope. Aiming at the Deer's stomach, He squeezes the trigger as it fires the arrow; it fly's through the air, hitting the tree, Just missing the Deer. The Deer becomes frightened and did not know where the Arrow came from so it runs up the hill, Gabriel watches it and takes out his knife slowly, placing his crossbow on his back. He waits for the Deer to calm down, Creeps on up behind it. Pouncing forward pushing the blade of the Knife into the back of its skull, killing it instantly. He then goes to skin the animal, taking the contents he needs, he stands up. Racing back to the truck, wanting to surprise his Dad, He goes the long way round to come up behind the truck. He runs at a good pace, trying to beat his brother Warren, when Gabriel arrives at the truck, he hears rough voices yelling. Gabriel looks over the Truck bonnet to see his dead being held up by some Bandits also seeing his Brother there too. Gabriel moves round the Right side of the truck. Aiming at the Left Bandit with his crossbow, he fires his crossbow as soon as the arrow fires out of the chamber and hits the left bandit, Gabriel rushes up to the right bandit who turns around in time to grab Gabriel when he jumped up, in a desperate struggle Gabriel drops the knife from his Right Hand catching it with his Left then stabbing the Bandit in the chest multiple times. Letting the body drop, his Dad rushes to Gabriel hugging him. Warren looks to his Dad with hate and Gabriel with jealously. The next day.  It was a normal day for the Dixon Family, except, Gabriel couldn't find his Crossbow, he looked all around the large cabin but still no sign, he looked outside and saw his brother standing next to the hill, laughing, Gabriel pushed Warren out of the way looking over the hill, there it was, his crossbow in a muddy ditch. Broken slightly. Scratched too. Gabriel sighs as he climbs back up the hill jumping in the truck. They play the same game as last time. Gabriel sprints to the Right again, looking around for tracks then suddenly. Gabriel hears footsteps behind him "Lil' brother! It's time to die!" As Warren says that, he grabs Gabriel by the arms thrusting his head back. Smashing it into Gabriel's head, knocking him out...

When Gabriel wakes up he feels like he has less air to breath...He looks side to side. He is trapped in a small, wooden box. Like a Coffin, he feels a sudden pain in the right side of his stomach...His knife has gone through his stomach...Not puncturing anything, just in the skin and flesh of his stomach, Gabriel starts to freak out, Shaking his head "No...No...”
Gabriel has to think fast, he grabs the handle of the knife, gritting his teeth and tensing as he starts to slowly pull the knife out, he stops in agony. Starting to feel weak and giving up hope...Then he remembers what his brother said "Time to die..." Gabriel shakes his head, pulling on the knife. Ripping it out he yells in pain "Gah!” Breathing heavily. He thinks what he can do, He drops the knife, looking up, pushing against the lid of the coffin type box. its thin wood, too much dirt could probably break through it. So it's obvious he wasn't dug to far underground, He picks the knife back up. Stabbing the lid as much as he can, it finally caves in and he clambers out. Coughing heavily. He looks around...No one is in sight. He noticed he's in a different place than he was.

He then finds his crossbow...The wire is snapped, Scope is broken, Trigger is jammed and snapped. It's very muddy and wet. He looks at his wound then he looks to his arm, Pulling his arm in-wards, Tucking it into his shirt, He holds the sleeve out and starts to cut through the top of it when he is done he wraps it around his stomach, Tightening it. "Argh!"
Gabriel looks around himself, sheathing his knife, And picking up his Crossbow putting the strap round him, He starts to look for tracks...He finds none by feet but sees Car tracks..."Warren can't drive.." He thinks to himself. He gives out a long sigh. Following the tracks.

About fifty minutes later, Gabriel is still on the tracks but he stops as he hears loud. Stomping footsteps followed by a very loud rawr! Gabriel spins around seeing a Black Bear standing on both feet ready to drop right on him. He yells "Oh fuck!" And starts to run as fast as he can holding onto the right side of his stomach up the hill as he is running up it he gets to the top and starts to run/limp along flat lands, he trips over a tree stomp landing on his wound. He tightens the ripped sleeve, giving out a large hiss of pain quickly looking behind him. He sees the Bear just getting on top of the hill. He reaches for his Crossbow which he realizes is broken. He unsheathes his knife, slowly standing up. The bear starts to charge towards him. As the Bear is charging at Gabriel he jumps out of the way just in time while the Bear keeps going forward, it turns around rather quickly to charge again, Gabriel thinks on what he could do to kill it, looking down at his knife then back at the bear. He twirls the knife in his hand and stands, waiting for the bear to charge once more. The Bear stands on its two feet giving out a loud "Rawwwwr..!" and quickly landing back down on all fours, hearing a large thud, Gabriel's breath becomes more of a faster pace as before. He tries to jump out of the way but the Bear catches him by the legs. Throwing him down, he becomes breathless as a gets pummelled to the hard ground but still has a firm hold of his knife, while the bear is on top of him he begins to stab the bear in the stomach several times and once in the upper chest area. The heart of the Bear is pierced and it giving a large moan and falls flat onto him, then he wiggles out of the Bears large and heavy corpse with a slight struggle then backing away from the bear. Gabriel feels the pain in his stomach again. "Gah...That thing ain't healin'...” He reaches for his backpack and takes out his Brother's stash of Med's and pills. He takes some Painkillers out and keeps searching for the bandages; he finally grabs a hold of a new bandage roll. He takes off the wet and muddy sleeve from his waist and wraps the bandages carefully around his waist and then grabs the Painkillers, taking one of the blue pills out of the bottle and placing it on the end of his tongue he then retracts his tongue back into his mouth, swallowing the blue pill.

After One Hour of walking:

He finally comes to a large hill...Hearing two voices, he looks up to see his Dad's Truck and Their Large Cabin. He then un-sheathes his knife, Running up to the door, Kicking it open. Charging at Warren, Putting him against the wall "Why the fuck did you do tha-" Before Gabriel could finish what he was going to say. A gun being loaded is heard, His Dad aiming a Shotgun at Gabriel "Da-....Dad? What're you doi-" Warren interrupts. "We're both in this together Baby Brother...”  Gabriel steps back. Filled with Anger and Hate, His Dad lowers his gun but as soon as he does so, Gabriel jumps over the sofa, Grabbing his Dad and pinning him against the wall, going to stab his Dad then Warren jumps in, grabbing Gabriel throwing him back, Gabriel falls back and over the Sofa but dropping his Knife over to the left of the sofa then Gabriel slowly stands back up then Warren jumps over the Sofa kicking him in the head "Little Brother! Don't do anything you'll regret!" Gabriel drops down from the kick with Warren on top of him and punching him in the head, Left and right. Gabriel blocks his Brother's left and punches him in the chest and then tries to shove him off, Warren falls off Gabriel and gets back up and so does Gabriel. "Big Brother! Don't do this! I won't say sorry for what injuries you will have after!" Warren laughs at his Baby Brother trying to stand up for himself. Warren moves forward to try and punch Gabriel in the gut, Gabriel reacts to the hit and kicks his brother in the knee, Warren kneeling forward, Gabriel then moves forward and grabs Warren then head butts him and Warren falls back but still in Gabriel's grasp and Gabriel pulls Warren back and pulling him upwards for him to stand. Warren stands, slightly dazed. Gabriel jumps forward and knees Warren in the stomach and jumps on top of him but before Gabriel could lay into him anymore, His Dad grabs Gabriel and throws him to the left of himself, Gabriel crawls to the sofa and picks up his knife, He creeps up on his Dad who is trying to get Warren to a normal state instead of on the floor rolling in pain. Gabriel punches his Dad in the back of the head, his Dad a very large man and extreme anger issues then turns around, His face showing lots of anger against Gabriel and kicks him in the stomach, Gabriel falling down and holding his stomach and immense pain and is completely winded by the kick losing all of his breath and slowly regains it after trying to breath in and out for a couple of seconds, he looks to his Dad who has Gabriel's knife in his hand while he tries to get Warren back up. Gabriel takes off his backpack and reaches in for one of his arrows for his Crossbow and slides it up his sleeve...He runs up behind his Dad once more and kicks him in the head, Gabriel's father falls forward onto Warren, He quickly regains his stance. "Do you ever learn boy?!" Gabriel's Dad rushes forward with Gabriel's knife and pins Gabriel against the wall. Tears in his eyes. "Dad...Please...” Gabriel's father keeps a firm hold of Gabriel against the wall and moves the knife up against Gabriel's face, looking deep into his Blue eyes, Gabriel looking back at him with tears running down his face. "Quit crying boy! It weakens you!" Gabriel snaps back to him "Maybe, I don't want to be like you! Like him, I want to be different! I hate how you treat me! If I have a child. I'll treat them the best I can...Not like you. NEVER like you!" After hearing that. Gabriel's father snaps at him. Slamming Gabriel against the wall several times then his Dad stops but still keeps his firm hold on him, Gabriel then. Slowly pulls out the arrow from his sleeve, Tears running down his face. Breathing heavily. Sticks the arrow into his Dad's stomach, his Dad then dropping the knife and Gabriel to attend to the arrow.

Gabriel drops down, picking up the knife while Warren is starting to get back up. He kicks his Dad backwards. Ripping the arrow from his Dad's stomach, he yells in pain "Arghh! You little shit! I'll kill y-" The sentence is cut off while Gabriel forces the knife into his Dad's skull. Gabriel falls back, crying. "What! What have I done?" Tears dropping from his face and onto the floor. Warren looks to Gabriel in the corner and in a ball crying and then to his Dad, seeing all the blood on his Dad's corpse then he looks to the knife still in his skull. Warren filled with sadness, Breaks down, crying also. He moves to his Dad and takes a large breath and rips the knife from his Dad's skull. In a big state. Warren throws the knife to Gabriel. "Get out! NOW!" Gabriel also in a state, crying a lot and picks up the knife slowly while shaking quite a lot. Gabriel slowly stands, looking down at his Dad's corpse and kneels down. Closing his Dad's eyes while shoving his hand into his Dad's pockets, Gabriel pulls his hand out with some Keys..."It was him...*sniff* or me, Him or me!" Gabriel stands. Tears running down his cheeks and dropping onto the ground.

He leaves the Cabin and goes to the car, hopping into it. He starts up the truck and drives down the dirt road....

The Seven Hour War [DURING]

As Gabriel rides down the dirt road leading up to his house he looks over at the waterfalls and says "I'm gonna miss you the m- Whoa what the fuck?!" A portal starts to open, one in front of him another to the east and another to the west. The ground starts to shake; Gabriel looks back at the Cabin and its starting to fall down "Fuck!" He presses straight down on the pedal flying down the dirt road and into The Wilderness.

When he gets off the Dirt Road and riding like a mad man then he comes to a grinding halt. Turning off the Truck and walking to the edge of this mountain, He looks up at the portals seeing Carriers and Gun-Ships "When did this turn into fuckin' Star Trek?" He looks back at the car. "Ok. How am I going to do this...Well. One things for sure I’m not stayin' here! Hmm...." He walks to the going into the front seat placing in the key, Turning it and turning the car on. He takes a left going down another dirt road "Ok...Ok...I'll just survive out here. That seems ok." He hears a yell, Looks through his mirror and sees Warren chasing the car. "Baby brother! I'm sorry! Take me with you!"
he looked confused at Warren, "Fine. Do anythin' stupid? You'll end up like Dad." Gabriel drove them into a new plot of land but not that far away from a Combine Convoy heading their way. "A'ight, we’ll set up camp here Warren, C'mon."  Warren and Gabriel get out of the car light a fire. "So..Ya' know what's going on Baby Brother?" Gabriel looks at Warren with a concerned look "Ya' think I know? Why don't you go ask the guys invadin' our asses?" Warren's eyes widen as he looks behind Gabriel. "Are those guys wearin' big armor and look like freakin' space aliens and got those big ass Three-Legged creatures?" Warren gets up and hides behind a tree. Gabriel follows, "What ya' lookin' at? Oh...Good lord." The two brothers hidden behind a tree while a massive convoy is heading there way. Combine Soldiers very near the camp. "What are we doin' Warren?" Warren looks at Gabriel "No idea...The car? Maybe we could drive off." Gabriel nods and sneaks over to the car giving Warren the signal to sneak over as well. They hear one of the men in armor yell "Citizen spotted!" and they start to move over to Gabriel's and Warren's position. Warren yells "Fuck it!" Warren starts to load their Dad's Shotgun and starts to shoot at the Combine who spotted him. one of the Combine gets hit in the shoulder, The other aiming his AR2 at Warren firing with great accuracy. Warren jumps down "Fuck! Go Baby Brother! I'll handle these fuckers!" Gabriel yells back "No! You're comin' with me!" Warren shakes his head and starts to sprint left. The men in armor chasing him while Gabriel hides in the truck...

At least 20 Minutes Later

Gabriel finally looks through the window and notice all of the Combine have gone from the camp, Gabriel steps out of the truck and goes into a sneaking position and goes over to the fire, He scans the area for any more Combine then Gabriel turns around moving to the car and grabbing all of his belongings and hoisting them into the back so he has space to drive, Gabriel lands his foot hard on the pedal of the car, speeding along the road, Gabriel finally starts to slows down when he thinks he is far enough from Home and the campsite, Gabriel comes to a halt when he finds himself at the top of a very steep hill then he starts to hear gunfire and suddenly bullets flying at him, running through the cars back window, Gabriel speeds down the hill and tries to slow down but cannot, he keeps flying down the hill and suddenly hears a loud POP! One of his wheels popped...Gabriel loses control of the car and it spins around, hitting a large rock, the car's right side being completely smashed and dented, Gabriel's face getting impaled by lots of glass and shrapnel then the car spins onto its side, Gabriel smashing his head against the door, the door smacks him bang on the temple it's unconscious immediately and the car keeps rolling down the hill with Gabriel like a rag-doll inside of it, the car smashes onto the ground at the bottom, Blood all over Gabriel's face and glass everywhere...When he wakes up, he hears two people talking over his body. "Is he dead?" The voice sounds like a woman and the other sounds like a British man... "I don't know! I thought he was one of those...Men...”. Gabriel's eyes begin to flutter open, he feels his head and feels a bandage wrapped around it. He looks around, seeing his Crossbow, Backpack and his knife. His eyes drift to the Man and Women who look slightly frightened of Gabriel, Gabriel asks the two. "Err....What happened?" Gabriel slowly says to the two...”You...You. Fell down the massive hill while trapped in your car..." The man lifts up his Shotgun to Gabriel's head. "Are you a threat to us?!" Keeping the Shotgun aimed at his head, shaking slightly. "No..Unless you want me to be one.." The man slowly drops the Shotgun from Gabriel's head. "No no...That's fine. You live around here?" Gabriel smiles as the Shotgun is being moved away from his face. "A few miles back..I think." Gabriel grabs his crossbow. "You know how to fix these and...Where are we?" The man stands and says "No...Sorry and answer to your other question. We’re in a bunker, west from where I found you." Gabriel nods and looks at the man's women friend and back to the man. "You too a couple or somthin'?" The man laughs and so does the woman. "Yeah yeah. We are...And you? You got family? Friends?" Gabriel looks at him, Remembering what he did to his Dad...”No...Not anymore." The man looks down, sighing slightly. "Sorry to hear that...Who'd you lose?" Gabriel stands up to, "My dad....Sorry to ask but what the livin' hell is goin' on around here?" The man looks up and points "Up there? Well. I have no idea, most of the T.V channels are down and the same with the Radio Signals I am getting." Gabriel sighs, "God damn...Anyways, How'd you guys survive and stay down here?" The man looks around him, pointing to each pile of gear they have. "Isn't it obvious?, We are survival nuts, Always traveling and stuff and predicting the end of the world, We told them! We did..." Gabriel jumps up with a slight delight and joy. "Oh god...Please say you have some beer! It's been a rough couple of days for me." The man laughs and points to the left. "On the road, you gotta' have some fun!" Gabriel rushes to the box of beers, Popping one open and gulping it down as he does so, he leans on the wall and slides down it while drinking the bottle of beer. "Ahh.....Refreshing..."

About 4 hours later.

Gabriel, The man and the women are all pissed. "Urgh...I don’t know what this is but I think*hiccup* I think i'm drunk...but..Hey! Hey! You never introduced your-*hiccup* yourself! I am...I am...Wait. Who am I? oh yeah! Gabriel Dixon! And you?"  Gabriel is talking to the man while the woman is asleep. "I am...James Laycock!" Gabriel bursts out laughing. "Ha ha...ha-ha...ha...Cock!" Gabriel takes one more gulp of his seventh drink of beer and blacks out...

In the morning

Gabriel wakes up with a major hangover and looks at James who is awake. "Gargh.....Hello." James looks at Gabriel with slight concern "Good morning. I have forgotten your name...Getting hammered is not that fun at times like this. “Gabriel nods and says "Hmm....Want to go hunting?" James looks at him with a very confused face. "No way. I saw the people invading us, big fellas’; I personally wouldn't like to meet one of them."
Gabriel stands and looks in his bag some more painkillers; he grabs the capsule and gets two blue pills out and swallows them. "That should take the hangover away, is there a way out of here?" James nods, "The ladder...Wouldn't like to though, most likely Bandits and such now and more of those fellas' out there." Gabriel grabs his Crossbow and hoists the strap over his back also his backpack, "Thanks for taking me in...I'm going to get going." James grabs his Shotgun... "Uh huh. You'll give our position away!" His wife begins to wake up. "Honey! Grab your pistol! Keep him down!" His wife looks at him. "What? Why?" He snaps at his wife. "Because he wants to leave and give our position to Bandits!" His wife runs to her backpack and grabs her pistol and aims it at Gabriel, shaking vigorously. Gabriel sits down saying. "Ok...ok....I'll stay." James smiles and lowers his shotgun and so does his wife. "We're glad you decided to do that." Gabriel smiles too. "Yeah. Me too." Gabriel lies back down but keeps wondering to kill them both and take their bunker, He thinks in his head. "I'm not my Brother...They're just worried, I can be friends with them...”

Gabriel and the couple stay in the bunker for at least One year and two months and fourteen days with lots of food and water but they burn through and on the day nothing is left... they got found by four bandits...

That day...Gabriel wakes up in the bunker for another day of being secluded in the same place and see's James sat there with his shotgun and his wife with her pistol, aiming at the ladder but before Gabriel can say a word, James puts a finger to his mouth and whispers. "Shh...Bandits above." Gabriel looks up and hears Human voices and quiet footsteps. Gabriel unsheathes his knife and grabs his Crossbow and straps it over his back along with his bag. They hear the top being opened slowly. James is in front of the ladder, His wife looking up it and Gabriel is behind it.

The top fly's open and James's wife opens fire, they hear one of the Bandits scream out of pain. His wife looking at James and saying "I got-"
Before she could finish her sentence a bullet fly's through her skull and she lands on the ground with a loud thud. "Gabriel! Stand back! They're coming down!" After James had said that, A flash grenade goes down the ladder. Gabriel eyes the Grenade and jumps back and closes his eyes and hears a loud bang and James screaming. "Arghh! My eyes!" And Gabriel hears people moving down the ladder. Gabriel opens his eyes and looks to the ladder. He sees three bandits in the bunker. None of them have seen him yet but have James against the wall while they search the place. Gabriel sneaks up behind them all. Arrow in his left hand and his knife is his right. He sticks the knife in one of the Bandit's back and pulls it out while the other who is next to him starts to aim his pistol at Gabriel, Gabriel rushes forward and hits the pistol upwards and pins the Bandit against the wall and pushes his knife into the Bandit's throat. He hear's gunshots and both shots miss Gabriel and hit the wall. Gabriel looks at the thin and looks weak Bandit behind him, He jumps down and picks the pistol up from the ground, shooting at the Bandit while the bullets pierce the man's torso. He moves to each corpse on the ground, grabbing the ammo. Altogether he has: 7 Bullets from the first bandit, 2 Clips from James's wife, 3 Bullets from the second bandit and 4 bullets from the third. "Should be enough ammo." Gabriel looks at James who is in a ball and curled up. "C'mon James. We gotta' get outta' here." Gabriel holds his hand out to James. James grabs his hand and his shotgun. "Let's go...” Gabriel and James climb up the ladder to see a big van, they go to the van to see if there are any supplies, they open the back to see the injured Bandit and a large bag, the Bandit tries to grab his pistol but James shoots him with the shotgun before he could grab the pistol. Gabriel searches the bandit and his pistol. And comes out with 4 bullets then Gabriel grabs the large bag they hand and looks through it. He sees a Food and medical equipment and supplies. Gabriel laughs, "We gotta' jackpot!” James nods. "Are we taking the van?" Gabriel looks to James. "Yeah yeah. I'll get in the back, you drive." James nods and moves to the driver’s seat. "Let's go!" and Gabriel gets in the passenger seat and hand's James the Beretta, "You might need it more than me man." James smiles and puts the Beretta in his pocket and then they drive north..

After a 1 hour or so of driving they stop as the road is blocked. They get out of the car to investigate.

"Hmm....Darn. I heard there might be safety up north...I heard that people are trying to fight back on the radio." James says with a sigh after. Gabriel kicks the ground. "God damn I-" Then they hear bullets being shot at them and they hit the van and miss Gabriel by an inch "Fuck! Not again!" Gabriel gets behind the truck. He hears the door being slammed as James gets into the driver’s seat and about to drive off but before he could even press the pedal, A bullet fly's through the window and hit's James in the temple, The bullet goes through his skull and through the other window. Gabriel then crawls into the front while bullet's fly past him "God damn!" Gabriel hides behind James's body and then pushes James's lifeless body out of the car then slams the door and stomps on the pedal and drives off like a mad man. After a long time driving he hears a beeping sound, He looks at the gas meter and see's it's nearly empty and then. The car stops dead. Gabriel punches the driving wheel. "God damn! FUCK!" Gabriel grabs his stuff and gets out of the car. As he does so. He hears footsteps behind him, Getting faster and louder, He spins around and sees a man behind him with a MP7 and smashes him in the head with the back of it. Gabriel falls unconscious...

Gabriel wakes up and see's many people round him...Including the man who hit him. "What should we do with him?"..."I don't know Luco! You brought him to me! What is he? Bandit?" Luco looks at the man. "I don't know...Looked like it with the van and all his weapons." Gabriel looks at them both...”I'm no bandit. I killed four of them...and where are my things?"  Luco points behind him. "There...So you're no threat to us, yeah?" Gabriel sighs "Yes! I'm no threat...Where am I anyways?" Luco looks at Gabriel. "Ineu pass...Safest place to be right now and we're in the Inn at the moment." Gabriel smiles. "Thank you...” Then Gabriel stands and walks to his stuff then Luco says to Gabriel. "Hey...try and meet everyone and for Christ sake, don’t do anything stupid." Gabriel laughs. "Yeah, I won't." Luco turns around and Gabriel asks. "Anyone here who could fix a crossbow, I don't how to." Luco stops and turns around. "Yeah...Might be. Look around and ask people but just be careful who you ask and such." Gabriel nods. "Thanks again." then Gabriel turns around and grabs his Crossbow and his other belongings and walks down the stairs with Luco...

[FIN]

 What will these authorizations give your character in regards to perks or defects?


Perks
Defend himself. (Knife and Crossbow if it get's fixed)
Silent kills. (Knife and Crossbow)




Defects
The knifes blade breaks/becomes dull
Crossbow getting jammed. (Broken now. If authorized and someone fixes it, The crossbow could get jammed.)
Needing to fix/clean each weapon.



What do you plan to do with these perks/defects?
For me to start playing with this character with a lot more depth and hopefully people start to see him as someone who could help at the time.


Will anyone else need these auths? (If so, list OOC and IC name(s))
Just Gabriel

Which server does this apply for?
Outlands

Extra Notes (optional):
I am not asking for a OOC Item. also If I am aloud to also app for his Dad's Truck in here too that would be sweet, Here are the weapons and what they look like.
Knife:
Spoiler for Hiden:
Crossbow:
Spoiler for Hiden:
« Last Edit: March 06, 2013, 05:20:35 AM by Twisty (Snatch) »

Offline Khub

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Re: Gabriel Dixon's Authorization Application
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2013, 03:31:44 AM »
Alright - I've read through the application and here are my points

1. Capitalization and punctuation errors everywhere. Many of the sentences are supposed to have commas, yet they don't. In the first half of  the application, you appear to capitalize letters after commas, Thats wrong, Because it's not supposed to be like that - as far as I know.

2. It would require a lot of courage to pull a knife out of your own chest/belly. Once it'd be pulled out, your character would start to bleed; unless I forgot about it, you don't take that in mind in the backstory. Walking with injured belly muscles would be hard and very painful.

3. You ask for hunting skills, but the first part of backstory where Gabriel hunts the Deer isn't very detailed. Please provide some roleplay example, like with the deer. Make it as detailed as you can, surprise us.

4. Broken crossbow can be fixed easily in outlands, seeing as there is a couple of characters who have the mandatory authorizations. If you want to have that, add to your backstory. What happened to Gabriel during the seven hour war? How did he manage keep the crossbow three years after the war? Why didn't he just drop it into trash, seeing as it'd be a little heavy and as it's broken, it is just something that slows you down.

Offline Dixon

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Re: Gabriel Dixon\'s Authorization Application
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2013, 03:44:19 AM »
1. I know that, It's just how I type and I have no idea why maybe i'm not as skilled in punctuation as much as others.

2. If you did not notice, I did tie the sleeve around my stomach but I can try add something in the middle before I meet the bear about it.

3. Well yeah. At first I was asking myself should I put it in, I did decide not to put it in I guess I typed it in on word.

4. I'll add a little during the seven hour war I suppose.

I will add all the things you have suggested.

Post Auto-Merged: February 22, 2013, 02:23:54 PM
A'ight, I put some stuff added to it, Might edit it again before he gets to the Pass he does some Medical shizzle. right now. I am very tired typing it all up again and then adding the Seven Hour War Part.
« Last Edit: February 22, 2013, 02:23:54 PM by Jammy/Snatch »

Offline Khub

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Re: Gabriel Dixon's Authorization Application
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2013, 04:27:07 AM »
Quote
"Sorry beasty....You attacked me..." Then he places the knife into the Bear's skull. Ripping it out,
I never tried this, but is it really possible to pierce a knife's blade through an adult bear's skull?
Also the part where Gabriel kills his own dead, looks like if he had serious psychical disease like autism or something, one doesn't simply kill his parent, even as emotionlessly as you said in the application. Or does he?

I'm unsure on this. It'd be a great read but there are tons of grammar errors. If you manage to fix at least most of those, I will give you my support. As for now, no support from me yet. I will wait for others to post their opinions in here as well, hopefully, that'll help.

Offline Dixon

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Re: Gabriel Dixon\'s Authorization Application
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2013, 11:16:54 AM »
Hmm, I'll put some more details into the two things you have typed up about. I'll TRY fix the grammar errors. As I did say, I was very tired at the point of writing this.

Post Auto-Merged: February 28, 2563, 12:55:58 PM
Ok, It took me a long time to think on the new fight scene with his Dad and Warren also I changed the Bear scene slightly.
« Last Edit: February 28, 2013, 12:57:27 PM by Jammy/Snatch »

Offline Anzu

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Re: Gabriel Dixon's Authorization Application
« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2013, 04:56:06 PM »
There are still many grammatical errors and the part during the seven hour war is confusing. According to your backstory, citizens were escaping from the cities, already knowing it was like prisons only one day after the portal storms started. I am quite sure that cities wouldnt have been that established, nor would any proper mass of citizens have managed to escape from them already.

Offline smt

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Re: Gabriel Dixon's Authorization Application
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2013, 07:54:40 PM »
I have to agree with everyone else, while the backstory is long enough it sort of looks like you've tried to fool everyone by doing a lot of work while making some of it a little confusing as well as having some grammar errors. If you rework the backstory a little like the other's have said it would probably be fine as what you've asked for isn't too much to ask for, in my opinion.



Offline Dixon

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Re: Gabriel Dixon's Authorization Application
« Reply #7 on: March 01, 2013, 03:30:41 PM »
A'ight, What i'm going to do is remove the entire Seven Hour War part and re-think it and try and work it from there. This may take several hours...once again also, Smt. I know there are A LOT of errors while I am going to do the SHW part again, I am also going to work on those. Trust me I haven't really tried to fool anyone, I did put so much work into this it was crazy for me to stay up for so long.

Offline smt

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Re: Gabriel Dixon's Authorization Application
« Reply #8 on: March 01, 2013, 03:58:57 PM »
A'ight, What i'm going to do is remove the entire Seven Hour War part and re-think it and try and work it from there. This may take several hours...once again also, Smt. I know there are A LOT of errors while I am going to do the SHW part again, I am also going to work on those. Trust me I haven't really tried to fool anyone, I did put so much work into this it was crazy for me to stay up for so long.

I understand you didn't TRY to fool anyone, it's just sort of how I see it, it's the way it looks and I can tell you tried pretty hard either way, it's really almost fine and will probably be perfect after you've fixed it up, I guess it's up to SAs if they'll allow more time though (I assume they will)



Offline Dixon

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Re: Gabriel Dixon\'s Authorization Application
« Reply #9 on: March 01, 2013, 05:03:47 PM »
Ok, I will continue what I have started with the SHW part in the morning when I get some sleep, Please tell me what you think when I have done!

Post Auto-Merged: March 02, 2013, 01:11:33 PM
Ok, I have really thought on it now. And yes. I have got the permission from Kronos to use Luco in this.

Yeah, I tried really hard on this and it hurt my brain a little.  :)
« Last Edit: March 02, 2013, 01:11:33 PM by Jammy/Snatch »

Offline Anzu

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Re: Gabriel Dixon's Authorization Application
« Reply #10 on: March 03, 2013, 06:34:06 AM »
If you arnt trying to fool us, why did you add in a Beretta w/ Silencer without notifying us or even writing anything about it in the backstory?

Considering you're trying to get auths for a gun that was never even mentioned in your backstory, you do not have my support, atleast until you can get a proper reason why you added a beretta.


Oh, there it is. Two lines on how you found a beretta and silencer. No, that still dosnt get my support. You're asking for too much, and you also added in the pistol without notifying us, and considering its only two lines you added.. no. You shouldnt modify your story like that, specially when its in the middle of being judged.
« Last Edit: March 03, 2013, 06:42:27 AM by .apex »

Offline Dixon

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Re: Gabriel Dixon\\\'s Authorization Application
« Reply #11 on: March 03, 2013, 09:08:52 AM »
Ok. No I was not trying to fool anyone, i don't where you got that from, I didn't really think about the informing you part. So I will kindly remove it if that's what you are hinting at. 

Post Auto-Merged: March 03, 2013, 09:11:56 AM
And apex. I'd say that is a valuable reason to how I got the Beretta, I can take out the silencer gladly, but in a situation like this he picked up the Beretta and stole the rest of the ammo from the dead corpses.



Post Auto-Merged: March 03, 2013, 09:27:56 AM
Ok. I have fixed it completely, The Beretta auth is gone. I edited the van shooting slightly. Ok. This should be the full auth app now. Well. I hope it is.
« Last Edit: March 03, 2013, 09:27:56 AM by Twisty (Snatch) »

Offline Anzu

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Re: Gabriel Dixon\'s Authorization Application
« Reply #12 on: March 03, 2013, 09:29:04 AM »
You were asked to change your backstory so it wouldnt have any flaws. You added in a Beretta while changing that part of the story.

You can make another application for the beretta if you want to, but these three things are alone way too much to ask for.

Post Auto-Merged: March 03, 2013, 10:06:05 AM
Backstory seems better now, although there are still tons of grammatical errors.

My support on this is neutral.
« Last Edit: March 03, 2013, 10:06:05 AM by .apex »

Offline Dixon

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Re: Gabriel Dixon's Authorization Application
« Reply #13 on: March 03, 2013, 01:11:06 PM »
I'll change all the grammatical errors when I have the time but honestly, I don't know where they are :P If you could give me some examples of the grammatical errors you have seen, tell me and I'll change every single one I see.

Offline Doctor Nice roButt

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Re: Gabriel Dixon's Authorization Application
« Reply #14 on: March 03, 2013, 02:10:03 PM »
I would recommend you copy and paste your auth to Mircosoft Word or any writing program. It will most likely pick up on a good chunk of obvious mistakes throughout your auth and then you can edit it accordingly.
I see a lot of randomly capitalized words in the middle of sentences and a lack of capitalized words where they should be. Word might be able to pick up on that so you don't have to go over everything with a fine teeth comb, but it also helps to examine every sentence. You might also want to look up how grammar works in dialogue and speech, because I see a lot of grammar mistakes around most of the dialogue.
You also have a lot of sentence fragments, which is when you have a sentence that doesn't contain a subject and a verb. Again, Word should be able to pick up on it.


"Bert John: Grammer, English, your sentence isn't making sense. "

 

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