A little confession.

[Dallas]

NOTE: This is serious. I am not trying to attentionwhore with some misguided sense of importance, the reason I am telling this is because I trust you as a community to help me in my time of need.

Dear friends of Catalyst. I understand most of you don't know me. I understand if you have seen me; it will only have been from a couple posts here and there. I'm very much a newfag, I know. However in my time here, I have become friends with a number of you, it seems you are all very outgoing guys and girls. So I will confess a little something that's been going on recently, mostly to get this off my chest and gather advice on how to proceed with life.

I suffer from depression. That may be a shock to you, it may not, that's ok. It comes and goes in severity; I always feel insecure around people, even my friends. I feel like I'm not good enough for them, or anyone for that matter. I am afraid of people who say things about me behind my back, I'm scared of judgement and scrutiny. I lack confidence in myself. I try to fit in by putting on enthusiastic moods and trying to stay relevant but I do this so much that I don't even know who I really am anymore.

I'm scared of failure in all forms. This fear centers around my insecurity; I'm afraid I shall fail my exams and never amount to anything, I'm afraid I will never actually get a girlfriend and be "that guy" throughout my school life. I'm scared I'll dissapoint my parents; as the eldest son of the family. I'm even terrified to publicize my published novel in-case it comes under scrutiny. I'm ashamed of my past actions, blocking them out and not confronting them. I'm ashamed of my own body; despite the fact I'm pretty average. I hate my classmates who decide to rip the piss out of me.

Some people say I have no sense of humor... That I take things too seriously, well, it's down to the reasons stated. Not enjoying life right now. Some advice please?   

[raged]

stop living up to the expectations of others and live up to the expectations of yourself

[EmperorDisasster]

My dad has depression and most of the time he's a pretty mellow happy guy.

Try not to focus on your problems, but more on what you can do to solve them.

[Reaver]

I had a spat of depression when I was younger. You just have to realize that you are your own person, and when other judge you in whatever way, they're bigoted and ignorant. Failure is a natural part of every-day society, and it should be welcomed. If you failed, that means you tried. And trying is all that matters. Give everything your all and it will be brighter in the end. Learn from mistakes you've made, and instead of wearing your heart on your sleeve, find a small group of enclosed friends that you trust with everything and confide in them. If that doesn't work, seeking professional help is always an option.

[2stronk]

stop caring about other peoples expectations, especially people you dont even know

[Dallas]

But how do I simply stop caring? I am a known giver of fucks when it comes to what people think of me.

[[LP]GMK-MRL]

You have to think of yourself as superior at times.

This may be one of those times.

[Panda]

Hello David. I'm here to make your life %100 easier. First off I would like to start out with your outstanding grammar and spelling. I have a couple tips and tricks to succeed through life. First off, do you have a warm bed, food to take from your refrigerator and a place to take a shit whenever you need to go, free internet? Have you ever been beaten to a pulp you now don't have arms or legs? No? Anyways, what I am trying to say is, you're getting life easy, therapists don't tell you this stuff is because it's too blunt. I learned this the hard way. There are people out there who would need to relax. Someone with a hard life would litterally kill to live your life and never turn back. People with severe health issues, cancer, things you couldn't run from or change in the future. I live with depression till this day, and I fight it. I am one of the many who would choose to live your life in a heartbeat. (Excuse me getting deep) I was bullied for two years straight, I was thrown down a flight of stairs, had my arm broken and leg broken. Plus it knocked the air straight out of me, in which I needed CPR.
The students in the hall giggled not knowing how injured I was. I went to hospitals for attempted suicides.

Life is a beautiful thing, and you're the only person who can change your ways. You are the only one who controls your body. The best part is, getting a girlfriend is something you should wait for, and knowing that you should HONOR and LOVE yourself before you love somebody else. You are too young to be getting a girlfriend in high school anyways. This goes for everybody in the forums who feels like a piece of shit. You are a king - queen (troll) in your body and you should be treated like it. If someone is bothering you, IGNORE IT. These people find ways to put you down, because in their past they have not been treated right. The best part is, you most likely will never meet these people again.

Quick tips to being healthy: EAT HEALTHY (Don't by from fast foods) Eat fresh, clean foods not processed from factory's. Be in bed by 11 and try to get at least 8 hours of sleep. And as cheesy as this sounds, try to find features you like about yourself.

If you took the time to read this, I thank you, as I put much effort in to typing this down for you.
Best regards, Nyanpire.

[[RRP-O] The Cyberrabbi]

Guys depression is different from sadness.... If he randomly gets depressed often, then probably it's a medical condition. Literally a chemical imbalance in the brain.

Obviously this is all good advice man, but also advice you've heard before. Likely you should talk to your doctor. I myself have clinical depression, and having my medication really made all the difference. It doesn't make you a zombie, doesn't make you stupid or manic, all it does is make your base state from "Depressed" to...well....normal.

It may NOT be that, but if nothing else works it's probably that.

[alaskan thunderfuck]

The only way you'll feel better is if you stop giving a shit about what people think of you. You aren't going to wake up one day and suddenly not care - it'll take time. If people give you shit, give them shit back. If you let people push you around and give you shit for everything they're never going to stop. Don't try to fit in. Be yourself, if you try and fit in your entire life you're going to be miserable. I would stay away from medication, you really don't need it regardless of what doctors tell you. I've been through the same shit, and it took time but now I'm happy as I've ever been.

[Panda]

The only way you'll feel better is if you stop giving a shit about what people think of you. You aren't going to wake up one day and suddenly not care - it'll take time. If people give you shit, give them shit back. If you let people push you around and give you shit for everything they're never going to stop. Don't try to fit in. Be yourself. If you try and fit in your entire life you're going to be miserable. I would stay away from medication, you really don't need it regardless of what doctors tell you. I've been through the same shit, and it took time but now I'm happy as I've ever been.

Ditto

[[RRP-O] The Cyberrabbi]

The only way you'll feel better is if you stop giving a shit about what people think of you. You aren't going to wake up one day and suddenly not care - it'll take time. If people give you shit, give them shit back. If you let people push you around and give you shit for everything they're never going to stop. Don't try to fit in. Be yourself, if you try and fit in your entire life you're going to be miserable. I would stay away from medication, you really don't need it regardless of what doctors tell you. I've been through the same shit, and it took time but now I'm happy as I've ever been.

With all due respect clinical depression is a real condition, as is bipolarism or numerous other things people may be struggling with. I would agree that trying to have a positive outlook is a good idea, but don't claim that you somehow know what he needs better than what he himself, or his doctor would : /. I've had people...well...hurt themselves basically, because they refused to get the medication they needed, and it really helped them.

I reiterate it shouldn't be your first port of call, but it shouldn't be unheard of.

[alaskan thunderfuck]

Medication can help. In his situation it just doesn't sound like he needs it. Doctors will try to give you medication you don't need because they want money.

[[RRP-O] The Cyberrabbi]

That much is true. Sorry about that

Yes definitely try this other stuff first dude, doctors do have reasons to want to give a "quick fix".

[A Dark Tree]

I don't know if you've already recieved enough advice, or if you wish for more, but what I've done in my own life is what I'm going to tell you.  I've been given shit from day one by most people.  I'm a tank, but I don't play sports, so most people see me as a weakling, and know I prefer to stay away from violence.  I've, fairly recently, just started to love everyone, I don't care what they say, I don't care what they feel, I joke around with people that insult me, I try to have as much fun as possible in the ways I like to have fun.  Simply learn to accept people for who they are, learn to accept the disses you recieve and simply put them aside.  Learn to live in the now.

I hope this advice helps you, if not I'm sorry, but it's worked for me.