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Topics - Wish

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1
General Discussion / Wish's emo rant thread
« on: July 15, 2011, 08:12:45 AM »
My fucking life is shot to hell. I lost my job, I lost my apartment, I'm sick, depressed as fuck and I want to die.

I am a failure as a human being. I'm way past the age where I should be able to take  care of myself without having to leech money off the government and my friends.

All I have talent for is hanging around with kids almost half my age online, since I am too much of a social outcast to have any real friends.

I've been in a constant battle with depression for most of my life, with a few half-assed suicide attempts under my belt that I didn't have the guts to go through with.

The doctors I see keep shoving different pills in my face, but they just don't work.

I'm having a really hard time keeping up the will to keep going.

In short, I need support from whoever I can get it from.

I'm just so worn out. I feel emotionally dead.

At least the panic attacks are under control, but I can't recall the last time I felt genuinely happy.

If anyone here wants to try to help me feel better, it would be appreciated. :(

2
IC Chat / The diary of Erin Hickey
« on: July 10, 2011, 07:41:13 AM »
Page 1:

I arrived in a strange place they call "city 18" by train today. I don't even remember boarding a train, or anything before that, really.
I have no idea who anyone is, or if I even have any family. It's like my mind has been erased...

Life is pretty tough around here... People are fed only enough to keep them alive, and the water tastes strange...
I met some man by the name of Dan Nikoleav... he helped me out a lot. He is nice and seems to really like me.
It's good to have a friend in this nightmarish place...

Page 2:

I have no real perception of time here. The night seems to stretch on for eternity... it feels like I have been here for weeks, but I am sure it couldn't be longer than a couple days... therefore I will mark these entries on separate pages instead of using dates as I have no idea what the date or time is.

Page 3:

Dan and I have been getting along well. Even though we got tied and searched for loitering in some kind of garage... these combine guys are pretty strict! They let us off easy, no beatings today. We were lucky. This time.

Page 4:

With all the depressing surroundings and starving people, I decided to clean up the apartment building and pick the trash up off the streets, both to keep my mind off things, and hope to find some food in some of the discarded rations bags I found... I didn't find anything but one of the combine guys noticed the work I did and gave me a "loyalist point", whatever that is... I'm just glad he liked what I was doing instead of tieing and beating me!

Page 5:

Today was bad news. I made a terrible mistake. I muttered a comment about the lack of cleaning the place has gotten lately and as I was scrubbing down benches I made the comment to myself about "just because we live in a post-apocalyptic hell-hole, it doesn't mean it has to look like one!"
Well, that was a mistake. A guy from what they call the CWU heard me and he was insulted and told a CP nearby.
I was beaten unconscious, and told to clean for the rest of the day.
The day wasn't all bad though. I Did get another one of these "loyalist points" for my work beforehand and not resisting any punishment... I knew I had messed up, and they knew I was truly sorry. Not because I got caught, but because I know that although things are rough, we would probably all be dead if they didn't protect and feed us.


Page 6:

Another day of starving and working. There didn't seem to be any of those CWU guys around, so I figured I'd help out for the trouble I made last time.
I rounded up all the trash on the streets, and the apartments and surrounding trash cans and brought it to an officer who took me near the hospital so we could burn it in a private area.

I was awarded a 3rd "Loyalist Point" and with it came a special armband that shows off my loyalty to the greater good.. or so I've been told anyway...
All I know is that if I work, I get to eat a lot more often, and get beaten much less. I'd rather not have the other citizens think I am a true "loyalist" because I hear they are not well liked, but it seems to be much better to have the citizens unhappy with me than the combine.
I just want to eat, and get by without getting beaten. So if I keep working for these combine guys, things will keep going better. (I hope)

Page 7:

Today Dan asked me if I would be his significant other! I was very nervous. I don't know how well relationships are viewed by the combine. I hope they don't find out, but if they don't allow this sort of thing, then I will have to break it off. I just can't risk getting on the combine's bad side again!

3
Suggestions / Optimize for widescreen?
« on: July 06, 2011, 12:18:40 PM »
Would it be possible to optimize the web site to work better for wide screen monitors so we don't have to horizontal scroll for things like pictures and stuff? There is a lot of wasted space on a widescreen setup... I'm pretty sure there is a way to have it auto fit to the screen, but I haven't touched html since I was like 14...

Here is a picture of what I see personally:

http://i338.photobucket.com/albums/n417/erins_wish/widescreen.jpg

(I added the red circles, in case anyone was wondering)

4
General Discussion / Some random stuff I feel like saying.
« on: July 05, 2011, 08:42:42 AM »
1st off, LAN PARTY! WOO! (I'll be back in the servers on wednesday or soon after I go home :) )

2nd up, if you wonder why I never use my mic, there are a few reasons:
1. I hate my voice.
2. my apartment is always too freaking noisy
3. I prefer text chat so there is proof of anything I do or do not say.
4. I feel like an idiot when I am talking to my computer and people in my apartment give me strange looks xD

numbah 3,

I really like HL2RP. Look for Erin Hickey if you play. I think I am doing really well! I don't know who the CP's were that had the incident with me and Dan but it was pretty fun for me. I really feel that I RP'ed the situation really well. :D

4. my netbook feels like it is going to explode when I play OCRP on it xD (though it seems to handle HL2RP pretty well)

5. I'm batshit crazy. Sometimes it's fun :P

6. Despite that, I like being talked to. Friends are awesome! :D

I don't know if this would fit better in spam, but I figured it has some relevance to things.

5
Creations / I arted.
« on: May 29, 2011, 06:04:46 PM »
I am trying to learn how to decently draw and color. I usually just fiddle with gmod though.

Check out my deviant art!

http://thekillerglomp.deviantart.com

6
Introductions / Erin (A.K.A Wish)
« on: May 21, 2011, 09:49:44 AM »
Why hallo thar peoples! I am Erin, known on steam as Wish. I used to play PERP a long time ago and I just found your nice server here. I'm hoping to make this my new online home. I love playing firefighter, but it can be pretty boring. Sometimes I go medic.

I'm 24, and I still play too many video games. I'm trying to get back into art.

I have done lots of admin work on other game servers for different games, so if a position ever opens up, I'll toss my hat in to try to help out.

I plan on buying VIP when I get paid on the 27th.

I'll see you in game! (excuse my noobishness though since there seems to be lots of new stuff since PE)

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