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Messages - Toxilium

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1
Half-Life 2 Roleplay / Castles Fall, but the Foundations Remain
« on: August 24, 2012, 11:54:42 AM »
Good morning, afternoon and night, whenever you may be reading this, denizen of Catalyst Gaming,

To preface this post, I made a post 10 days prior in a thread stating my intention to leave and criticisms of the server, but I felt it was a bit harsh. This thread, after all, will be to announce both mine and Old Greg's official retirement from HL2RP indefinitely. I feel going out on a bit more of a spark, a cheery note and suggestions for the future would be more fitting than a harshly-worded post. Anyways, onto the thread proper.

In 2006 I purchased the Half-Life 2 Christmas Box, which contained Half Life 2, Counter-Strike Source and HL2: Episode 1. Other than Age of Mythology and Diablo II before that, this collection would be my first real foray into the wonderful world of PC gaming. I was still very much a console gamer at this stage, but little would my high school freshman self realize how much that purchase would impact my life. I truly believe PC gaming is the absolute best platform to experience new games on. A proper computer is unparalleled in power and has nigh limitless potential to that of a console. It allows more interaction, customization and biodegradability than any console. My computer has been the gateway for me to connect to the world. I've met friends from across the planet, some of whom I've connected with in real life and grown strong relationships with. My computer has been a learning tool about the realms of science, religion, history and exploration; it's taken me to India, Rome and back again. My computer has been my greatest ally and worst enemy, bringing me through the highest and lowest points of the last 6-7 years of my life. With my computer, I've visited foreign countries, seen extraordinary sights and done things I never would have thought I could do. Take it as geeky as you'd like, but I truly believe my PC, whether it be my new desktop, previous desktops or current laptop, has been a central pillar to me grasping life's experiences.

But let's go back to that purchase in 2006. Flash forward a year, I have Steam installed and see a cool game named Garry's Mod on the market. Oh boy, it's $10! A lot of money for a low-income earner (I worked as a cashier at 15) in grade 10. After begging and pleading, I managed to convince my parents to let me use their credit card to purchase it. About 5 months later, late 2007, I embarked into my first serious HL2RP server, Taco N Banana Server #1, City 45 Plaza. Like many of us had done in our first forays into HL2RP, I didn't know what I was doing and was promptly kicked for minging. After exploring the TNB servers for a few hours, I re-entered under a new character and began to take it seriously. This setting was hauntingly beautiful to my 15-year-old self, whom had just come off the "high" of reading George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four for a school project. I played under the name Scott Farley, a fairly dull, unassuming man who just went about his business. I looked past the faults of the server, as for many of us, serious HL2RP servers seem nigh perfect during our first few dozen hours. Scott Farley applied for the CCA, a feat I thought was mighty for a now 16-year-old newcomer. I made it in and the summer of 2008 was gleefully filled bashing citizen skulls with my stunbaton and shooting rebel thugs with my SMG. But I began to feel bored with the game. Over this time period I had developed an interest in Warhammer Online, World of Warcraft and several other games that began to eat up my time. Where did HL2RP, with it's 90% "passive/boring" and 10% "active" environment fit into my gaming schedule? So, as the community joke goes, when you get bored, make your character suddenly insane. Apparently insanity is the only interesting quirk us teenagers can think up of and it even continues to this day, hah! Farley went ballistics on his squad and ended up PKing two Units before being gunned down by an OfC. I decided that to get truly engaged in the setting I would need to create a realistic character, one that I would heavily research and develop over the years. Someone who felt real, who had relationships and actual emotions, an epitome character in my eyes. Thus, Amanda Whitley was born.

My heart and soul of HL2RP was poured into her character. At first she was not very developed and I had few contacts within the community. But I sat myself down, read into real biographies and drew inspiration from friends and family. Not to sound like a creeper, but her appearance was heavily drawn on from a crush I had on a girl at the time who worked with me as a summer camp Councillor. Thinking back on it, it just makes me laugh now. Sidenote: I dated her briefly then got friendzoned. Don't let that shit get you down gentleman. Brush them off and move on. They're not worth your time. It is now September 2008 and I'm entering grade 11. It was during the next year I met and befriended SubAtomic (Onyx IC), Bill Smauz, PureRage/Ezrios and Old Greg. I made more mates during this time but those would be the people the HL2RP community would likely recognize. It was also during this time I began really developing my Atheistic side and began to reject my Christian upbringing. I was going through a difficult period, like many 16-year-olds do and I wasn't quite sure where I fit or what I wanted to do. This attitude reflected in my roleplay and I was nearly banned from Taco n Banana. Luckily, my contacts saved me from that ban and PureRage, SubAtomic and I began developing a Castle-like Resistance group called the Reliquary (or Refinery, I can't remember the name). Amanda also received the name "Ruby" during this time as a joke from SubAtomic's character, Onyx, whom was ICly engaged in a relationship with Amanda (I swear I've never cybered. Fade to black, people!)

The next two years were a rollercoaster, both IC for Amanda and OOC for myself. My spirituality went from Atheism to Agnosticism to Buddhism and is now a complicated blend of Hinduism, Agnostic Atheism and Pantheism. I learned that at the core of the things I enjoyed, I enjoyed the complex systems of society and people, city expansion and nation building. I opted to go into urban planning for university since I thought it was perfect for me. My adventure had me cross and recross different servers and people, going from the defunct Necropolis, back to TnB to nearly making my own server. I graduated high school, began working at a new job and it all culminated with the 18-year-old me going to Asia for a 6 month work term for a family member. That same year I even had my first real girlfriend and popped the cherry (don't worry guys, it will all happen at some point). I took a break from HL2RP at this point for university. In June of this year, about 6 years since I bought HL2 and 4 years since I started roleplaying, Old Greg got me hooked back again with a new community, Catalyst Gaming with the intention to create a citizen-centric roleplay group known as The Castle.

Things went well at first, with some cool ideas bouncing between myself, Greg and Roven (whom I had known previously from Taco n Banana). We had some good people with us - Jules, Shawn, Mute and the odd vortigaunt here or there. Amanda began running the clinic at this point. At first, the server appeared a welcome change from the totalitarian false democratic nature of TnB, but my outlook began to change as frequent ratio change requests and administrative misunderstandings were frequently ignored. The "thermal vision" springs to mind, but I digress. We felt relieved a month later when we were able to transport everyone into the Outlands. Greg and I knew we needed to make the Castle something special, as we had both planned on retiring from HL2RP in September. Roven came up with the idea to make the Castle into a Greek citystate like structure. An interesting though, but it was unachievable due to our dwindling population, small land holding and constant OTA raids. We lacked administrative support for personal defense and popular support from the Town. The Castle also was lacking in qualified roleplayers, as there were 3 poor-average roleplayers per every 1 above average roleplayer. It was not destined to be. Greg and I indirectly thought that, so over the last three weeks we've been slowing down our pace, coming to halt in early August. The Castle died a slow death.

Our last hurrah ended in failure, but that's not to mean any of you cannot pick up the reigns and rebuild what we had set out to achieve. In fact, I challenge you to make a better citizen-centric group than Roven, Greg and I ever could. I will be watching in earnest, but alas our time with HL2RP is finished. Old Greg is two years younger than me but is now legal age to enroll in the armed forces. I believe he's going into the Air Force, but he keeps changing his mind. I'm now 20, entering into my second year of university. Other than Asia, this will be the first year where I have my own house, paying for my own food, car, etc. It's quite an exciting time to take the reigns of adulthood. Do I miss being a teenager? Absolutely not. I urge all you teenagers, ignore those assheads at high school. You will never see them again. Almost everything you do before graduation is meaningless. It's what you do with the rest of your life that truly matters. You will cross and recross new paths and relationships like automata patterns. So a second challenge, an OOC challenge. When you finish high school and are a real adult, able to drink, smoke, go out, have sex, meet people, have a job, question your beliefs and motivate yourself to try new things, I want you to just be the best you can be. Try the hardest, always strive for first place. You're your own character, and you wouldn't expect anything less but perfection IC, so why the fuck wouldn't you do the same OOC? You'll find that awesome boy/girl who will be your best friend. You will find that job you love and go on that trip you've always wanted to go on. Always strive to do bigger, better. When you become a real adult, shaped by your passion for gaming, computers, sports, whatever, take that passion and use it. Beat the world, I dare you.

<:: Unit.04.08819 Scott Farley ::>
Amanda "Ruby" Whitley
Toxilium
Alex Jennings

has disconnected from server.

P.S. I'd like to think that Amanda remained in the Town, collecting her thoughts after the demise of the Castle from the OTA raid 2 weeks ago. There she remains until the Free Man, forever the town's healer and caretaker, it's citizens eternally grateful of this mysterious redhead woman.

2
Half-Life 2 Roleplay / Re: Weaponry / Rebellion
« on: August 14, 2012, 02:49:15 PM »
Before I begin, I'd like admins to notice the vast number of threads being made regarding the "lack of resistence." If I could, I would consolidate them into one thread or re-state each thread's purpose and get them back on topic.

The closest this server came to a rebel group recently was the Castle, but it is utterly defunct now. Greg, Roven and I all but stopped playing Garry's Mod. Shame really, there was potential, but we were constantly bogged down by a myriad of OOC issues. To name a few: lack of administration communication, disregard for community input, horrible faction ratios, massive self-entitlement to CCA players, a lack of purpose for ordinary citizens, over-abundance and an over-recruitment of CPs. I understand some issues may stem from shallow canon, but when did HL2RP ever follow canon when it was inconvenient? Greg is joining the Army or something, Roven is being Roven and I'm going back to university.

Personally, I feel I've exhausted my time spent in HL2RP. It was great when I was a teenager and had nothing better to do than wank, smoke and go to high school. Now that I'm (guessing) 2-3 years older than the average player, coming to realize there is little depth to the setting. I tried introducing substance with my own characters, but it is simply not there. Citizens exist solely to be oppressed. The CCA are exclusively to act as the oppressors to the citizens and opponents to Gordon Freeman. That is it. There are no underlying themes, there's no preeminent or deep questions being asked, even in HL2 which is essentially just a linear FPS (albeit a remarkable game). The environment is extremely shallow and most of us are trying to squeeze orange juice from lemons. It's not going to happen for me. Take a video game like Mass Effect; now that would make a compelling roleplaying environment. You have distinct races and ideals being brought into conflict with each other and at the same time there is an overarching threat to organic life. But I digress, as even Mass Effect is comic-book-deep at best, nowhere near the levels of good literature or film.

TL;DR The ship has sailed. The Castle is dead. I may be on here and there over the next few weeks, but Greg and I aren't playing anymore for the most part. Come September, Greg and I will not be on G-Mod again. Roven is a loose cannon and I'm sure will be back on here and there to grace you all with his presence. HL2RP lacks depth and I am getting too old for this shit.
Ta-ta for now.

3
yeah, city is based more around CCA RP. That's to be expected, considering it is a city, with a nexus and all. Not going to be easy to rebel and get away with it. Sure, we could have more resistance RP but we also have outlands for that. I'll talk to oz about having more shit based around resistance RP in the next version but seriously, go to outlands
While it makes sense for the CCA to be a dominant force in the city, are we all forgetting what the city should be centralized around -  the citizen? CCA are merely a police force. They may have branches for medical, intelligence, civil service, you name it, but at the end of the day they're just police. Acting conspicuously, resistance should be able to theoretically operate in the city. Hell, they even did it during HL2.

4
Half-Life 2 Roleplay / A Public Service Announcement
« on: August 07, 2012, 03:56:44 PM »
IT IS WRITTEN AS CANON.
NOT CANNON.

THIS IS CANON.


THIS IS A CANNON.


That is all.

6
Social Discussion / Re: Whats your IQ
« on: August 07, 2012, 02:40:39 PM »
If you surpassed 130, get the fuck off these forums and go speak to Mensa (pics or didn't happen, show me a certificate). You're probably bullshitting or the test you took is fake. Online tests are not an accurate way to determine IQ. You need to write the test in a professional institution (95% of the time a university or college) with a qualified test-giver present.

That being said, 95-105 is not stupid. 100 is always the mean. If the IQ happens to rise over a generation (unlikely), all IQs are reset so 100 always remains the mean. A 100 IQ today could be different from a 100 IQ two hundred years ago, although IQs tend not to change much as they're logic based rather than technological progress based. If you have a 100IQ, you're sitting right in the middle of the pack and there is nothing wrong with that. If you have 80 or lower, that's a problem. 50-60 or lower and you may be considered legally retarded. 130-140 is extremely intelligent, though I can almost guarantee no one on this forum has anywhere near that high of an IQ.

7
Yeah thats why I have a crazy person on hl2rp city RP, but everyone classifys me as a minge and it pisses me off.
Well, I can see where they're coming from. What does "crazy" mean in your character's context? What does it mean when people call you crazy IC? What kind of medical problem is it?

Crazy isn't a real thing.

He's borderline mentally retarded basicly, insane..

"Borderline mentally retarded insane" doesn't make any sense. Borderline implies that you're hitting the outer boundary of sanity, but you would not know that without a proper diagnosis from a professional. You may just be depressed or suffering from a serious case of psychosis, who knows? Retarded in your context is a derogatory term. My brother is technically retarded, since he has a genetic condition that inhibits protein biosynthesis at a young age. Retarded is an inappropriate term for your character. Insanity is a whole spectrum of mental behaviors. You cannot simply dub yourself "insane," without first precisely describing how you are insane. Your character may actually be retarded in the non-derogatory sense of the word. Who knows? If no one diagnoses you, it's all guesswork.

It sounds to me like you need to work on your character more. And just my two cents in the matter, "insanity" on this server is so common, it's become a running joke that if you even just bump your head slightly you become insane in Half Life 2 RP. It's become such a generic character trait.

8
Yeah thats why I have a crazy person on hl2rp city RP, but everyone classifys me as a minge and it pisses me off.
Well, I can see where they're coming from. What does "crazy" mean in your character's context? What does it mean when people call you crazy IC? What kind of medical problem is it?

Crazy isn't a real thing.

9
Half-Life 2 Roleplay / Re: Character Theme Songs
« on: August 06, 2012, 04:47:29 PM »
ITT: CPs. CPs everywhere. God damn, the population imbalance...

Not my character, but I already know Greg Castle's (Old Greg) theme song from this being played a million times in our Skype chats.

Spoiler for Hiden:
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BY3Fwmlg5ZI" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BY3Fwmlg5ZI</a>

This is a devotional song (I personally like) for my new character, Ranajit Chakraborty. A devout follower of Vishnu and his greatest avatar, Lord Krishna, Ranajit is confident the Kali Yuga (the present age of darkness) will end with the coming of Kalki, the final avatar of Vishnu. Lord Shiva will be awoken and through his dance Tandeva, will destroy and re-create the Universe.

Spoiler for Hiden:
Hare Krishna.
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAN3KiSanZA" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAN3KiSanZA</a>

One of Amanda Whitley's favorite musicals growing up was Annie (maybe due to the main character being a redhead too?). I find the general theme still applies here. The second vid (from Melancholia) is what's going on inside her head most of the time.

Spoiler for Hiden:
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UIiT6ry6zQ" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UIiT6ry6zQ</a>
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmQ1YQvViD4" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmQ1YQvViD4</a>

Alexandra Sheppard. She got memory loss a lot and has an unstable mental structure, which is kinda like the disorder this song is named after, except somewhat different.
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtpNAxldqzw" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtpNAxldqzw</a>

Good song. Still don't understand your "unstable mental structure" since it makes no real sense, but hey.

10
Hailey McLinn/Unit 091
Spoiler for Hiden:


So your unit is the same person who advertises for shitty colleges and online t-shirt shops?

11
To be honest, I went on the outlands for a couple hours, and slowly lost interest in it. First of all, everyone makes there character an ignorant dick on the outlands, also it's not very fun. You can't interact with that many people because the map is way too big, and should probably be a bit more smaller. I think that's the reason why the population is usually 0.
The City is exactly the same, save the large map. Everyone in the City is a CP, ignores you or is a minge. You need to play with friends in order to have a fun time.

12
I didn't realize that City45 was Paris and that the combine only spared models
This is a bit off topic but your picture used to be my sig.

Ahahaha, that gave me a laugh. But it's true, I would bang every character in this thread for the most part. Some of the men are sexier than my ex-girlfriends. :|

That's why I can't use a real picture for Amanda. It will end up being too pretty, too boring, or not her at all.

13
In other words how can we get people more attracted to outlands?

Perhaps show people that you can form different ways to roleplay. Everyone in the Outlands is either in the Town, a roving gang, Beans, or in the Castle/Resistance. What I would love to see happen would be small groups or individuals surviving in the wilderness on their own accord, very wary of strangers and some might even be hostile to foreigners. In an outdoor map as large as Ineu Pass, there is plenty of room for people to live out Bear Grylls-type lives.

14
Guides / Re: A Guide to Combat Roleplay.
« on: August 01, 2012, 08:08:20 PM »
Good guide, +1 support.

My main tiff is when people constantly insist on putting "attempts" in everything. If you're a good writer or able to read, you should notice that there are other ways to say this.
Cause normally if we don't put "Attempts" people go 'OMGPOUWERGUMERZZ!!!!23!!!".
Its just easier to avoid drama like that by putting that down then wording it too complex for some minds to handle.
What I usually do is forego putting attempts in and write my combat turns so it reads like I'm attempting, but so that word isn't overused. I'd rather deal with a bit of drama to explain LOOC than to sacrifice writing quality.

15
I agree with the OP. The Combine are basically a metaphor for alien/foreign oppression. Let's take a look at some "real" (film) examples of how citizens may act in the company of Civil Protection.

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veztNJQyRJg" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veztNJQyRJg</a>
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKie_34cpJI" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKie_34cpJI</a>

Also in regards to age, I cannot even say I have anywhere near enough IRL experiences to RP a truly realistic character. I roleplay a 33-year-old woman. I'm a 19-year-old male who lives a generally posh live in a Canadian suburban home with a few friends who pays for his own rent and food. What the hell does that say about me? It means most of Amanda Whitley is ripped from books (50%) and the remainder is ripped from my own personality, others I know and a tiny little bit from television programmes.

If you're less than even the legal age to drink or drive in your country (19 and 16 respectively in Canada), how can you even begin to comprehend what it's like to be an adult? Most of you are younger than 20 years old and have likely never lived on your own, had sex, drank legally in a bar into the wee hours of the morning, done hard drugs, had a full time job, been in a serious relationship, traveled on your own or with your significant other, etc. Most of you have not experienced the major facets of being an adult which is true independence. But that does not mean you cannot imitate it to the best of your ability. I implore everyone to read mature books, hang out with older people, etc. to get a sense of what it's like to create an adult character. Though none of us will ever be perfect making a realistic character who's older (or in the very rare case) younger than us, unless we're writing an auto-biography.

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